A Mid-Month Self-Evaluation
It’s almost exactly the middle of the month, so I thought it was a good time to check in. If you recall, I made a commitment to some real, focused October self-care. At the end of September, I took a hard look at what I was doing, made the freaking list (taking walks, crocheting/knitting, baking, and listening to music), and set out to make some changes.
Related post: 4 Ways I’m Taking Care of Mommy
Starting off well
The first week of the month started off well. I took a walk or two, and I was really proud of myself. They were short walks because it was 90-plus degrees outside. Maybe they were more like walks to the mailbox. If you could see my life in September, believe me, you would be proud of my mailbox jaunts.
I also opened Spotify and started diversifying my playlists. I used to have a couple of lists that I used for everything. If the plan was to listen to more music, I had to create different lists that contained music for my moods and activities. I enjoyed making playlists for my favorite genres, including Showtunes, Eighties, and Rihanna (yep, she’s a genre).
The unthinkable happened
THEN the unthinkable happened. David (my name for my kid’s depression) decided to make an extended visit. More on that later, but trust me…he is definitely not a chill house guest. My commitment to myself went out the window.
Related post: 6 Ways My Child’s Mental Illness Is Like Any Other Illness
This was my opportunity to prove that I could be both a devoted caregiver to my kid and a somewhat competent caregiver to myself, and I started tanking. Quickly.
The one thing I did right
I started to get disheartened. I haven’t made an effort to do anything on my list in days. But then I realized something. The beauty of my list is its simplicity. It’s so simple, in fact, that I totally forgot the one thing that I have consistently been doing for self-care!
I L-O-V-E to bake!
I love baking, both for stress relief and to put smiles on other people’s faces. I have baked multiple batches of cakes, muffins, and cupcakes this month. I’ve done it on autopilot, without even realizing that it was actually something that was on my October self-care list.
YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!!! My nerd heart can rejoice; I’m not an utter failure after all!
Never have I been so proud of myself for cracking some eggs and sifting some flour!!!! I even found new recipes that the family enjoyed. These key lime cupcakes are bomb (make sure you check your cupcakes around the 20-minute mark; 26 minutes was way too long in my oven).
Now what? I still have the rest of of the month to practice my October self-care. I have to look at where I’ve gone wrong and use that info for course correction.
First, I have to break the old pattern of dropping my own self-care as soon as my kid has a crisis. Second, I must re-examine my list; I can tell that I put a couple of things on it that I need to amend. Lastly, I admit that I haven’t been checking in with myself often enough. If I had been honest with myself on October 5, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time.
The way forward
Welp…now that brutal honesty is on the table, it’s time to tweak the list.
I have to remove Crocheting/Knitting from my October list. I was right; it was all about the finished product. I will consider adding it to the November list. By then, it will be time to focus on Christmas gifts. The idea of cranking out scarves and wraps for folks will make me happy.
In its place, I’m adding something else, and I thought long and hard about this one. I am going to see at least one movie before the end of the month, and it has to be at the movie theater. As much as I love trashy television, there’s something about the movie theater experience that I adore.
Wish me luck, and let’s all keep trying!
Send me your favorite cupcake recipes <3